When a Parent or Grandparent is Diagnosed With Cancer

TIPS FOR TALKING WITH CHILDREN:

Be age-appropriate. Use words that are common and familiar and children will have an easier time understanding cancer and what to expect. Use simple and concrete terms. For example, you might say: “Grandma is sick with an illness called cancer. The cancer happened on its own; nobody did anything to make it happen. She has very good doctors, and is doing everything possible to get better.” Finding out what they might have heard about cancer is helpful so you can clear up any misinformation.

Be honest. From the time of diagnosis be honest about the cancer and the treatment. Keep the children informed by having frequent conversations. This will help them feel safe and secure. Request they come to you with any questions or worries and explain that you will tell them the truth and if you don’t know always know the answers you will try to find them out.

Explain that cancer is never anyone’s fault. Pre-school aged children may have “magical thinking.” They believe that if they say or think something, it can come true. That’s why it is so important to let children know that nothing they did or said caused the cancer.

Explain that cancer is not contagious. Young children often think of being sick in terms of catching germs. Let them know they can’t catch cancer like a cold. Tell them they can still hug and kiss each other just like always.

All feelings are okay. No matter what their age, it’s important to let children know that what they are feeling is normal and okay. Encourage them to talk and share their feelings. Help them find appropriate ways to express themselves such as drawing or painting a picture.

A Favorite Parenting Quote

“Good parents give their children Roots and Wings. Roots to know where home is, wings to fly away and exercise what’s been taught them.” – Jonas Salk

This quote has great significance to me as my daughter will be graduating from Belmont University this weekend. She will continue to live and work in Nashville so the above quote is relevant. Watching her strike out on her makes me proud and gives me a sense of personal satisfaction as I see that my parenting goal of enabling her to be confident and self-sufficient has come to fruition.

I wonder which one of us, Emilie or I, will be standing taller Saturday at graduation.

May is Mental Health Month

Mental Health Month was created more than 50 years ago to raise awareness about mental health conditions and the importance of mental wellness for all. This year’s theme is focused on an essential component of maintaining and protecting mental health and wellness: social connectedness. The tagline for this year’s observance is “Get Connected.” There are many ways of creating connections that support mental health:

* Get connected to family and friends to feel close and supported.
* Get connected to your community to feel a sense of belonging and purpose.
* Get connected to professional help to feel better when you’re stressed and having trouble coping.

This link has information on Helping Children Grow Up Healthy:

http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/mental-health-month/helping-children-grow-up-healthy

FREE Speech and Language Screening for Preschoolers

On May 3rd, The Central Institute for the Deaf, in St. Louis, is offering a free speech and language screening for preschoolers. This PDF has all the information:

http://www.cid.edu/tlc/tlcscreeningsfinal.pdf

Preparing Children For an Earthquake

Children need to be prepared for an earthquake as much as adults, if not more.

Infants and Toddlers

For infants and toddlers, special emphasis should be placed on making their environment as safe as possible.

• Cribs should be placed away from windows and tall, unsecured bookcases and shelves that could slide or topple.
• A minimum of a 72-hour supply of extra water, formula, bottles, food, juices, clothing, disposable diapers, baby wipes and prescribed medications should be stored where it is most likely to be accessible after an earthquake. Also keep an extra diaper bag with these items in your car.
• Store strollers, wagons, blankets and cribs with appropriate wheels to evacuate infants, if necessary.
• Install bumper pads in cribs or bassinettes to protect babies during the shaking.
• Install latches on all cupboards (not just those young children can reach) so that nothing can fall on your baby during a quake.

Preschool and School-age Children

By age three or so, children can understand what an earthquake is and how to get ready for one. Take the time to explain what causes earthquakes in terms they'll understand. Include your children in family discussions and planning for earthquake safety. Conduct drills and review safety procedures every six months.

• Show children the safest places to be in each room when an earthquake hits. Also show them all possible exits from each room.
• Use sturdy tables to teach children to Duck, Cover & Hold.
• Teach children what to do wherever they are during an earthquake (at school, in a tall building, outdoors).
• Make sure children's emergency cards at school are up-to-date.
• Although children should not turn off any utility valves, it's important that they know what gas smells like. Advise children to tell an adult if they smell gas after an earthquake.

When Does A Child Need Therapy?

Therapy can be beneficial to children who are dealing with death, abandonment, or abuse. Children who are experiencing difficulty adjusting to moving, starting school or divorce can find emotional support in therapy.

All children, from time to time, exhibit what adults may call “abnormal behavior.” When a child exhibits the same abnormal behaviors over a long period of time or when a child exhibits several abnormal behaviors at once, it’s wise to seek help. The first step would be to have the child evaluated for a physical cause to the abnormal behavior. If there’s no indication of a physical cause or if medical treatment does not eliminate the abnormal behaviors, therapy should be the next step.

What is the Family's Role in the Play Therapy Process?

Effective work with a child depends on parental support and participation. Sessions for parents only will be held periodically to monitor the progress of treatment. The play therapist may also make suggestions about how and when to involve some or all family members in play therapy.