Thought for the Day

Every child needs one person who is crazy about him – Uri Bronfenbrenner.

More Parenting Reflections

How would you respond to the following statements?

1. What have you have inherited?
2. What you would have liked to inherit?
3. What you most dislike inheriting?
4. What would you like your children to inherit.?

Parenting Reflections

Take a few minutes to reflect on what parenting means to you. Grab a pen and paper and post your thoughts to the following statements.

1. Three things you enjoy doing with your children.

2. Your favorite parenting moment.

3. What your children would say they like about you.

4. The best thing about being a parent.

Using "I" Messages

One way for parents to model good communication skills for their children is to use "I" messages.

There are three parts to an "I" message.

1. I feel_________________(use an emotion)

2. when_________________(describe a specific situation)

3. because_______________(say how it affects you).


"I" messages tell your child how you feel. It's more effective than yelling. It teaches your child more appropriate ways to share their feelings and solve problems.

Logical Consequences

When you discipline it’s vital to be consistent. Consistency shows your child that you are serious and dependable. Discipline is not effective unless it’s done consistently.

In order to be consistent you need to have a plan. Without a plan you will simply react when your child misbehaves. Yelling, threatening and not following through with consequences are not effective. “No video games for a week” might be uttered in the afternoon but an exception will be made an hour later.

With a plan, you will react differently and your discipline will be more effective. Your plan should include consequences. Consequences enforce the rules, make a child accountable for his actions and help the child learn and change. A consequence is related to the behavior and must outweigh the pleasure of the disobedient act.

For example, a seven year old is tormenting his sister. The parent says, “Since you are not treating others kindly, I’m canceling your play date with Brian this afternoon.”

Consequences need to be different for each child. Once you find a consequence that works you can almost guarantee that after a period of time it will no longer be effective and you will have to find another one. Consequences will also need to be altered as your child gets older.

Spend time discussing the rules and expectations with your child. Spell them out and stick with them. Children will follow a rule better if you have explained why you have the rule.

Finding consequences that work requires time and thought. The investment in effective, fair discipline is crucial to your child’s growth and the dividends will be great.

Look How Far You've Come

Do you deal with your problems or do you deny them? It’s much easier and less painful to deny them. If you deal with your problems it will involve a lot of soul searching and the journey to healing will include pain. The thought of that pain is enough to scare some people into denial. If they don’t think about it then it won’t hurt so much.

Those who decide to take the journey to a peaceful place will suffer as they drudge through the muck and the mire. Often, while moving forward, there will be times when they find themselves stumbling and perhaps even sliding backwards. Yet they continue because they want that peace that awaits them on the other end of the journey.

It can take weeks, months, even years depending on the severity of the problem. One day they wake up and realize the journey has come to an end. They feel lighter, as if a heavy weight has been lifted from their shoulders. They no longer smile to hide the tears; they smile because they feel a true inner happiness. Perseverance has paid off. All of the tears, pain and sleepless nights are now but a distant memory. Joy has taken the place of the pain.

It’s a sense of satisfaction, a sense of pride in knowing how far you’ve come.

Grandpa Butch

I adored my grandfather. I was his only granddaughter and he doted on me. One summer he built me a play house complete with a sliding glass window. None of my friends had glass windows in their play houses and I felt so special.

I was seven and at my grandparents home the night my mother went to the hospital to give birth to her third child. We anxiously awaited a phone call from my father. I already had a younger brother and I desperately wanted a sister. When the call finally came and my father announced it was a boy I was devastated and couldn’t stop crying.

My grandparents tried every trick in the book to calm me down. Finally, Grandpa Butch suggests that if I stop crying he will take me into town in the morning and buy me a new red wagon. That was music to my ears. I dried my tears, put on my pajamas and went straight to bed.

Grandpa Butch always kept his promises to me so the next morning, after breakfast, he drove me into town and we went to the hardware store. It no longer mattered that I didn’t get a baby sister. I had a brand new, shiny red wagon.